Saturday, September 20, 2008

Operation Urinary Freedom

So, a few hours ago, I was just chilling on top of this hill in Idyllwild under a bush. I hiked a good hour and a half out from the highway. It was dead quiet. Of course, like an idiot, I didn't bring any water so I was tired. I rested my head on my backpack and kind of dozed off while looking at the sky and listening to the birds sing. When I woke up, I had to relieve myself, so I just stood up and unzipped the old shorts and started peeing right where I was standing on top of this hill. The last thing I thought to see up there was a group of people. I wasn't even near a trail. I just bushwhacked all the way up this hill (and almost killed myself Sunny Bono style because I was wearing Top-Siders, which are essentially land skis). Anyway, there I was, just peeing freely into the open air, thinking, "This is the life. I can just pee wherever I want. No problems. " I then heard some rustling and footsteps nearby and, in the middle of Operation Urinary Freedom, I looked up to the next highest hill and caught eyes with a group of about four other fellow hikers a stone's throw away. It was awkward to say the least. I was just standing there peeing directly toward them, quite proudly I might add, and these poor people were on higher ground just observing me like I was some rare beast in the wild. I don't know if they saw me sleeping in the bush before I got up to pee. Hopefully not. But they were all fully stopped, dead in their tracks, staring at me. I then quickly played it off like I didn't care and grabbed my pack and started walking back down this steep as heck hill. They turned right around and pretty much speed-walked back up their hill and out of my sight.

I wish I could hear their side of the story.

I was laughing about it all the way down the hill.


Jeremy said...

hilarious !

Jamie Simko said...


Kristin Michelle said...

i love sharing a good laugh with my self.

Dorothy said...

Locke, I love you.

T.S.B. said...

Locke, this comment has nothing to do with your story.

It has to do with the fact that we live hardly an hour from each and have not seen each other in months.

I seek to remedy this.

jessicagrady said...


About Me

My photo
I am recent graduate just looking at the dirt, writing about it.