Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Simultaneous Bodily Expulsions

While penciling in the empty bubble next to the letter C on the test sheet, a girl gnawed a pen cap, a guy sneezed into his cupped palm, a kid screamed outside the door, and the teacher farted. It all happened simultaneously. Bodily expulsion in multiple forms, and these were only the blatantly noticeable audible and visual forms. I am sure there were plenty of other things occurring within my living zone (the place where I happen to be alive at the time), but, of course, they went unnoticed.

But when I think about the word "place" I then start to think, "when does a place's boundary end and a new place begin?" I could be at a school, or in a classroom, or in a chair, or whatever, but I could also be in the Milky Way Galaxy, on Earth, in the United States, in California, in the City of Riverside, on the RCC campus, in classroom 120, in the 6th row of desks, 2nd one to the right of the wall by the door. So, my living zone is really subject to how I define it at any certain point in my life.

Anyway, at this point, the place I was in was the classroom, and its boundaries end beyond the four walls.

After penciling in the answer, and hearing and seeing the various bodily expulsions, I began to think about what each person was thinking while performing, essentially, these actions.

The girl gnawing on her pen cap was probably thinking, "Damn, I should have popped open my book last night instead of seeing that guy who treated me like crap so that I wouldn't be in this helpless, indecisive state: A, B, C, or D?" She chewed that pen up for a good two minutes before making a decision.

The guy who heavily sneezed into his palm was probably thinking, "Damn, now I have a palm spattered with mucus and smelly, warm saliva and nothing to clean it up with." I saw him scan the room and, when he thought nobody was watching, quickly wipe it on the carpet underneath him. He continued penciling in answers.

The kid who screamed outside the door was probably thinking, "Damn, nobody is paying attention to me. I better scream so that somebody looks at me." I can't say what this kid did next because I didn't actually see him, but it's fun to imagine. Maybe he tripped on a rock and started crying.

The teacher who farted was probably thinking, "Damn, I didn't think that was going to be so loud. I tried to ease it out, but this plastic chair is unforgiving. I hope nobody noticed that. I am a woman after all. But I did eat a big, fibrous salad for lunch." Yeah, at least ten of us noticed the fart. I saw heads shift, but since we are in college now, we have the difficult social task and responsibility of not laughing at things that are still funny like farting.

I read the next question on the test, and on I went. It's just funny to think about things when everything is quiet. Anybody else do this, or am I just ridiculous?

1 comment:

Tawny said...

That was amazingly well-written. Please turn this entry into the professor and get yourself an A! I know exactly what you are talking about and it becomes all too evident when you are silent. You have time for your thoughts to breathe and you realize the most random things. And, you know, farting is still funny! I think it will forever be. :)

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