Cheap Baseball Caps

A retard will always take the opportunity to rip free the little attaching device on the back of those cheap baseball caps. You know, the unfitted variety a boy gets when he plays ball for the local little league Pirates. The Pirates aren't the "rich team." They don't get McDonald's cheeseburgers and sodas for the post-game snack. They get orange slices and cheap, generic juice boxes. They don't have the cool dad/coach who pitches in and buys the whole team mesh jerseys and fitted hats. They wear the cotton, screenprinted T-shirts made into makeshift jerseys. They don't practice hitting at the batting cages with the arcade games and bumper cars. They practice at the elementary school where the bermuda grass is yellowed and patchy, and the infield thrashed. They don't go to the pizza parlour to celebrate each victory. They celebrate in the parking lot and talk about the good plays while eating turkey sandwiches. Their coach doesn't freak out when a player drops the ball or swings strike three. Their coach claps his hands and encourages the dugout to do the same. The Pirates got last place. The Pirates had fun. A retard will always take the opportunity to rip free the little attaching device on the back of those cheap baseball caps.